


Hearts Freely Given

by Powderpuff



Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Agatha and da boyz are my favourite, Freindship, Loyalty, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powderpuff/pseuds/Powderpuff
Summary: Jagers do not give their hearts so easy as their loyalty.You give her both, and she gives you hers in turn.





	Hearts Freely Given

She is your Heterodyne.

 

There have been others, of course; and you loved them and served them as you ought. But it was different- you loved them in a detached sort of fashion, loved them because you were supposed to and you wanted to.

But _this_ Heterodyne is _yours_ in a way the others were not. For this Heterodyne, you will give all of yourself, even the small part you keep back, the part of you that is _yours_ , alone. The part the generals tell you to keep close until you are ready to give it, lest you break. You will likely outlive them all, so better to be heartsick only once.

The loyalty, they say, is more important than the love. The loyalty must be given freely; the love can be earned. “ _Careful.”_ warn the generals.

 

(Vole gave both to one that could not accept, and his pain and rejection caused him to break Jägertroth.)

 

 

(He is a warning to all the kin, to not give their hearts too easy.)

 

 

 _(He got better, though_.)

 

 

(A general gave his heart to one who was not a Heterodyne. Him they watch and wait.)

 

 

She is driven to save.

She had not demanded loyalty for herself. She knew she did not deserve it; lost child of sinners. She demanded it for the House, and maybe it was a little bit of an apology too, for not being what you needed her to be. And when she called on you and your brothers, both the first and the second time, it was for others.

She is no noble’s whelp, this woman-child who ~~demanded~~ requested your aid. She is a blacksmith’s daughter, a piano teacher’s joy; learned sacrifice and bravery and goodness from their quiet care.

She did not fear you, in rage or in tears. She claimed you, although you claimed her first.

She has duty in her bones, and she would die for you and everyone else, because of that.

 

You would never let that happen, because you have a duty too. But it’s...comforting, after so long.

 

 

 

She trusts you.

 

In ways people usually don’t-trusts you as a person rather than one sworn to her service-calls you _friend._ Respects you, in ways her good and noble father did not, would not. She depends on you; looks to you for support; tries not to lean to heavily on you but is grateful that you are there. Tries to stand on her own, because people she has trusted have betrayed her. For her own good, and it kept her alive; but if you have any say in the matter, she will never doubt herself again.

(and maybe, for her, it is easier knowing you are with her, just in case. She is still new, and she needs you in ways she does not need others. You can be all of that for her, because it means a great deal, to be needed again. It has been far too many years.)

She lets you say no-but never asks for anything you would not give, willingly. And she gives herself; over and over, earning her birthright because all her childhood had taught her if she wanted to be enough, she had to _earn_ it.

(If allowed, you would destroy anything that had ever convinced her she was _ever_ not enough.)

 

She is still so young. Still learning, still _trying._

 

She is yours, you are hers, and you are, for once, afraid.

 

 

She is in love.

You like those boys who look at her as a guiding star, even though they have hurt her. They are not good enough, but you _do_ like them.

(Lesser beings do not make demands of the Heterodyne, whether they command an empire or no. Lesser beings do not _give_ the Heterodyne to others to use. But they were both very, very sorry, and she has forgiven them, because she is still her father’s child.)

And she loves them both and cannot choose, because somewhere along the line she has learned to love those who love her.

But she loves you and your kindred more; loves her friends more; loves her town more. If any of you expressed doubt, she would consider it as council well given. You are all, to a one, wiser in the world than she.

But maybe-no. No, perhaps you are unfair, and she does not love you _more_ , exactly. Maybe it is just an older love, one bred into her bones, one forged through fire and blood and pain. She loves them both, but if one was clearly better for her people, she would pick that one in an instant.

 

(Some ask why not both. She has no real answer, because…because she isn’t even sure if she wants _either_.)

 

 

(Zeetha asked, once, low and sad, if she would have chosen an actor over any blue blooded Spark.

 _“Yes.”_ Had been the low and sad answer.)

 

 

You and your brothers raise a glass to a man, who loved and fought and died for your mistress. A man who stank of fear, but saved her anyway.

Very occasionally, when you’ve drank to much and gotten maudlin, you wonder what it would be like to be _in_ love with someone like her. (But not her, not as you are. Yours is a ~~better stronger~~ different love.)

 

 

 

She earns her loyalty.

You are not the only one who calls her yours. She draws people like moths, because she is so very easy to like, to love, to respect. Maybe it’s because she has been waited for, and everyone was so very desperate for _any_ Heterodyne. Maybe because she loves and respects in turn.

Or maybe it is because she is herself; brilliant and foolish, brave and hard working, driven and kind. Thoughtful, too, of those not her equal; because she doesn’t realize they aren’t, maybe. Perhaps that is why Moloch stays; perhaps that’s why she keeps him. You don’t know. He is not of Mechanicsburg; he has done her harm; you do not entirely trust him.

(But he is hers. She is his Mistress, if not his Heterodyne. Love and loyalty can be awkward, sticky things. You hope he stays, because he is good for her.)

You notice how she surrounds herself with sensible people, people who note her brilliance and keep her on track. People who care for her, who will not genuflect and simper but guide and instruct. Some have chosen her, others have been chosen for her-but what is love but choosing someone, again and again?

 

(She chooses to call Master Bill _father_ , but Adam and Lilith remain her parents.)

 

(Lucrezia is just that. You wonder if she regretted not being _mother_ , in the end.)

 

 

She belongs.

She is happy in Mechanicsburg. She fits here, in a way her father and uncle did not. She calls it _mine,_ thinks the castle beautiful and the people delightful, looks at her monsters like she wouldn’t trade them for a thousand jewels or a hundred kingdoms. What is a prince compared to Mechanicsburg’s cheerful madness? What is an empire compared to an infant rat catcher’s devotion?

 The Storm King asked her to be his queen, and she had laughed in his face.

(“I’m already a queen.” she had replied.

“A queen of a city of monsters, not a kingdom of men.” He had argued.

And she looked at him, dead in the eye, and said-

“My monsters love me. Will yours?”)

 

She has fallen so easily in love with it all. Humans give their hearts so easy.

( _It’s okay_ whispers Mechanicsburg. _We’ll give you our hearts too.)_

 

 

She is tactile, in a way you had forgotten Heterodynes sometimes were.

Monsters sobbed at her return, and she held them. Monsters looked at her, shy and awkward, and she smiled at them. She bestows hugs on those that look like they need it. Bickers with the castle, but takes its clank when she leaves. The Beast goes as well, and you can’t remember the last time the castle had a _friend._

She doesn’t mind other’s affections. Jägers hug her; toss her around for expediency; Fust will nuzzle her. (Fust is not hers. Fust is Jenka’s. The Lady has never questioned it. Jenka loves her too.)

 

She calls Mechanicsburg _hers,_ but in turn calls herself _yours_.

 

 

 

She is your Heterodyne, and you are afraid.

 

 

 

But you are hers, and it makes her fearless.


End file.
